Next.
- You thirsty, Yelnats? - Yes, Mr Sir.
That should hold you.
Next.
Magnet, wipe that smile offyour face.
Yes, you!
You want some water?
Remember that gold tube?
Yeah.
I think that the tube was a tube of lipstick. You know?
And that "KB" stands for Kate Barlow.
Kissin' Kate Barlow?
Kissin' Kate Barlow.
Come on!
Z
E
R, O. That's it.
I can help you dig, so you won't be so tired to teach me.
No, I'm fine.
Look. You're a slow digger.
- Ohh! Trying to bag on me. - Yeah, I'm trying to bag on you.
- This way we'll be done at the same time. - It couldn't hurt.
Go ahead.
Z.
E.
No. This has to go out like this.
That's an R. This one's easy.
O.
That's it.
You know, Zero's not my real name.
It's not? But even Pendanski calls you Zero.
My name's Hector. Hector Zeroni.
Hector Zeroni.
- Nice to meet you, Hector. - Nice to meet you.
26 letters. We can do five letters a day for four days and then six on the 5th day.
- That's good math. - I'm not stupid.
I know everyone thinks I am. I just don't like answering stupid questions.
Yo, Caveman. Should be kinda easy working with your own personal slave.
What's up, stupid?
- Come on, Squid. - Whatever.
M
O
- M. - Yeah.
We weren't always homeless.
I remember we used to live in a lot of different places.
And then we didn't live anywhere.
- Must have been hard. - Yeah.
My mom had problems, but she would try so hard to make a better life for us.
She always used to say "l love you more than air."
She couldn't take me everywhere she went.
I used to have to wait on a porch or a playground.
Then one day she didn't come back.
What happened to her?
I don't know. That's what bothers me the most.
If I could, I would hire a whole team of private investigators just to find her.
Or to find out what happened to her.
I used to wait at Laney Park.
- Laney Park? - Yeah.
- I used to go to Laney Park all the time. - Really?
I used to sleep in the tunnel next to the swinging bridge.
But no biggie.
Let's go, boys. Lunch.
Where's your whip, Caveman? Don't want your slave slacking off.
It's not slavery. It's an agreement.
Line 'em up. I don't have all day. Let's go, let's go!
We have baloney and cheese, apples and graham crackers!
Let's move it along. Get your sandwich.
- Hello, Theodore. - That's not my name. It's Armpit.
- Alan, good day to you. - Good afternoon.
- Ricky. - Sir.
- Any more sandwiches? - You can have one sandwich.
This is America. We speak English.
Hi, man. I got some extra graham crackers.
Hey! How about I give you my cookie and you let me dig your hole?
Come on. Take it.
Look, I get it, all right? I'll dig my own hole from now on. Let me eat my lunch.
He isn't gonna take it. Come here.
Eat the cookie.
- Back off, man. - Hey, hey, hey! What's going on here?
Nothing, Mom. We was just fooling.
I saw what was going on. Go on, Stanley, teach him a lesson. Hit him back.
- Teach me a lesson. - Yeah, teach him a lesson.
- Teach me a lesson. - Hit him, Stanley!
That's enough.
I said that's enough! That's enough!
Hey, stop, Zero. He can't breathe.
I said that's enough! When I say to end something, I mean end it.
- Come on, Stanley. Let's go. - Get back to your holes.
Zero's crazy.
- Basically Zero almost killed Ricky. - Basically.
Ziggy was beating up the Caveman. Then Zero started choking Zigzag.
- I had to pull Zero off of him. - Yeah, I mean,
Zig just got a little hot. When you out in the sun all day, the blood starts to boil.
Is that what happened, Zigzag?
Yeah. Like X-Ray said,
working all day out in the hot sun, and Caveman sits around and does nothing.
Excuse me? Caveman digs his hole just like everyone else.
- Sometimes. - Excuse me.
Ma'am.
- Zero's digging part of Caveman's hole. - You're not digging holes no more, huh?
- I'm teaching him how to read. - What?
- He's a smart kid. - Smart?
Yeah?
Hey, Zero, what does C-A-T spell?
Huh? What's it spell?
Yeah, he's a real genius. He's so stupid he doesn't even know he's stupid.
OK. From now on, I don't want anyone digging anyone else's hole. Is that clear?
- And no more reading lessons. - Why? Ifthe hole gets dug, who cares?
You know why you're digging holes? Because it teaches you a lesson.
IfZero digs your hole for you, you're not learning your lesson, are you?
Yeah, see that?
Why can't I still just dig my hole and teach him howto read?
- Cos I said so. - We know you mean well, Stanley.
But the mental stress causes his brain too much of a challenge.
That's what made his blood boil, not the hot sun.
- I'm not diggin' any more holes. - Good.
You might as well teach this shovel to read.
Go ahead, Zero, take it. It's all you'll ever be good for.
D-l-G.
What's that spell?
Dig.
Go, Zero. Go!
Run, Zero!
Don't shoot. He can't go anywhere.
- You think I was gonna shoot him? - We don't need an investigation.
Don't I know that? Misinterpretation.
Let him go then. Let him go.
I want round-the-clock guards on all water sources.
I still expect seven holes.
I'll have the chicken tenders, Warden.
I'm ill. I've been feeling queasy. Take it or leave it.
You still poutin'?
No, I'm not poutin'. I'm just asking. Are we sure that he had no family?
He was a ward ofthe state. He was living on the streets when he was arrested.
Is there some prissy case worker who might ask questions?
He had nobody. He was nobody.
I want you to destroy his records. He was never here.
- Can you get into the state files? - I can do anything.
But I'm telling you, no one is going to come looking for him.
No one cares about Hector Zeroni.
I do.
They was in this thing together. Yeah.
His blood's on your hands then.
Man, if he's not back by morning, he's dead.
He's dead either way - if he stays out there or if he comes back.
- When do you think they'll find his body? - What body?
Man, Zero's buzzard food.
Know what? They pick out the eyeballs first.
- I can't believe you said that. - That's disgusting.
He's just plain gone.
She left him stranded in the desert. No water, no food for 16 days.
Grandpa, how did he survive?
They said he found refuge on God's Thumb.
- What's God's Thumb? - Who knows?
He was half crazy when they found him.
Zero!
So what you in here for, Twitch?
Joyriding. I never planned to steal one, but when I walk past a really nice car,
I just start twitching.
You think I'm jumpy now?
You should have seen me behind the wheel ofthat Mustang convertible.
Come on, Twitch. Let's go.
Hey, Twitch, come get some water.
First hole's the hardest.
You see me coming, you jump out of that hole!
Be first in line right away. I'm scratchy today, so you got to be sensitive with me.
- I apologise, Mr Sir. - Yeah, yeah.
I'm getting tired ofyou cutting in line.
Shut up! What the heck is wrong with you? We all get water.
Don't be squabbling. Both ofyou is gonna get water.
Man, stay in your place. We get our water in order.
There's only one law around here and that's me.
You wanna learn tough lessons? I'll give you a tough-guy...
Come on, come on, put it in gear.
You stop this truck, you little...
Keep going, Caveman!
Come back! Stop that truck!
Bye-bye, Camp Green...
- My truck. - You OK? Caveman!
You done it now. You done it now!
Get back away from that truck. Get away from that truck.
Yeah, keep going. There ain't gonna be no Yelnats the Fifth.
No, seņor. Not for me.
I'm not gonna see what's not there.
Fill in this section here, and start digging over there, in-between.
What are you gonna do about Caveman?
He ain't like Zero. He's got family.
In two weeks, we'll report he's run away.
Call in dogs, helicopters, the whole nine yards.
By then there'll be nothing left to find.
That's exactly right.
Zero?
Zero!
Stanley.
What's up, man? How you doing?
All right.
- We thought you were gone. - I was.
Let me see. You don't look too bad.
- You got any water? - No, I'm out.
But you know the water truck? I tried to drive it over here.
- I drove it into a hole! - It figures.
- What's in the bag? - Oh, it's empty.
Zero, we gotta get back to camp.
I'm not going back.
- Want some sploosh? - Some what?
Sploosh.
- Come on. Follow me, I'll show you. - Some wh...
Come on.
- You have a door? - This is how I found it.
Here.
- What is this? - Sploosh - that's what I call it.
Drink it, it's good.
That is pretty good. Tastes like peaches.
How many ofthese you got left?
That's the last one.
We need to go back to camp. OK?
- So let's get your bag, put this in, and go. - I'm not going back.
You will die out here. Here's what we're gonna do, OK?
We're gonna go back and tell the warden where I found Kate Barlow's lipstick tube.
And she'll be so happy, we won't get in any trouble.
OK?
What's Mare-yeh-low?
What are you talking about?
- Mare-yeh-low. - I don't know.
Come on, dude.
- See? - It's Mary Lou.
But I thought Y made the "yeh" sound.
It does at the beginning of a word, but not at the end of a word.
- See that mountain right there? - That one?
Yeah.
What does that look like to you?
- My great-grandpa almost died out here. - Really?
Yeah. They say he survived because he made it to the top of God's Thumb.
- You ready? - It's a long way.
- We better get up there before dark. - Yeah.
Hey, Stanley. What do you think's up there?
Don't know. Probably a great big Frosty Freeze.
- Good. I could use a hot-fudge sundae. - Know what I keep thinking about?
Imagine how fine Miss Mary Lou probably looked in a bikini.
Don't look down, man.
My God.
- OK. Come on, Stanley. You can do it. - OK. OK.
- Did you grab right there? - Yeah, that's where I got it.
No! No, no, no. Come on, come on!
Look at that.
Look at this, man.
- This isn't cool. - What happened?
All right, hold on.
- Is it numb or it stings? - It stings, man.
Don't think about it. When we get to the top, I'll get you a hot-fudge sundae.
Good. All that sploosh is getting to me.
Maybe he found Zero. Maybe they're both still alive.
Maybe the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are still alive, too.
Maybe my mom'll stop drinking and my dad'll come home.
Man. When Caveman stole that truck...
- That was awesome. - Yeah, man. Caveman did have style.
- Give me another word. - R-O-C-K.
Ro... rock?
Yeah. That's right, man. You're doing good.
Keep practising.
Almost there. Come on.
You all right?
Zero!
Zero, Zero, Zero! Got you, got you. Got you.
You good? Hold on. All right.
All right, hold on. Let me get in front ofyou. Stay right there.
OK. Here.
Slide this down. OK.
There you go.
Nice and comfy.
Stanley, I gotta tell you something.
What?
Come on, Zero.
Zero! Zero!
We can't sit here. We gotta keep going.
We're gonna go get the shovel and we're gonna fill it full of ice cream.
You must carry Madame Zeroni up the mountain
and sing while I drink so I can get strong too.
Damn bugs.
Wait a minute.
Wait.
Ifthere's bugs, that must mean there's
water.
Hector, wake up, man! Hector, wake up!
All right, buddy. All right. There we go.
Wake up, Hector.
Hector, wake up. Wake up!
This feels so good.
- We made it! - Stanley!
Hector, we made it.
Cold, cold, cold, cold.
What are you doing?
Try this. Try this.
What is it?
It's a hot-fudge sundae. Just eat it.
It's good, huh?
That's the sweetest onion I ever tasted.
If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs
The bark on the tree was as soft as the skies
So the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely
Cries to the moon if only, if only
If only...
- Honey, would you smell the shoe? - Can't you wait till I'm finished eating?
I know I've asked you a million times. Just a million and one more. Smell the shoe.
- Honey, I don't smell anything. - What?
I don't smell anything.
Pa, what do you smell?
- Nothing. - Peaches and onions, that's the secret.
- I don't smell anything. - You don't smell anything.
I don't smell anything!
- I don't smell anything! - We don't smell anything!
I told you I was on the brink of no stink.
I don't smell anything! I don't smell anything!
Stanley doesn't smell anything!
Rise and shine, onion man. I'm farting a lot and can't sleep.
You overslept.
- How long have I been sleeping? - Long time.
- Stanley, I gotta tell you something. - What?
It's my fault you were sent to Camp Green Lake. I stole the shoes.
I didn't know they were Sweetfeet's.
A lot of people donated all their old stuff to the homeless shelter.
And I saw the shoes and I just...
I liked 'em. I didn't know they were famous.
Next thing I know, everyone's going "The shoes are gone. Where are the shoes?"
Walking down the street, I heard the sirens coming after me. I got scared.
I ended up getting busted the next day lifting a pair of shoes from a Payless.
It's destiny.
Hey, yo, check it out.
Maybe they're coming for Caveman's body.
- Jaguar. That's a nice car. - Don't even think about it, Twitch.
- You can't keep him from me. - Excuse me.
- I'm Stanley's attorney. You have no rights. - We have the right to protect our kids.
- Come back with a signed court order. - What kind of an operation is this?
I'm not done with it, I'll tell you that right now. Not done with you.
"Excuse me!"
We ain't seen the last of her. She'll be back.
And next time with a court order.
We'll just tell her the truth. He ran away. Right?
He ran away after he was told he was gonna be released?
It's been almost three days. He's a goner for sure. What are we gonna do?
You'll do as I say.
What did she say?
Nothing much.
What do we do?
You'll do as I say.
But you didn't say anything either.
Hector, I'm glad you stole those shoes and threw 'em on my head.
What?
None ofthis would have happened.
When I first got sent to Camp Green Lake
I thought I got sent there because of my family's curse.
But we're not even at camp any more. We're on God's Thumb.
I just have this weird feeling.
Everything's cool.
Yeah, same here.
You got the same feeling? It's a good one.
Those stars look like a shovel to me.
Exactly.
- Hector? - What's up?
I feel lucky.
The onions have gone to your head.
What do you say we dig one more hole?
It's so hot, Sam,
but I feel so cold.
- Sam. - I can fix that.
You got five seconds to tell me where you buried your loot.
I've been waiting for you, Trout.
I ain't gonna kill you.
Come on.
- Where's the loot? - There ain't no loot.
Don't give me that. You've robbed every bank from hell to Houston.
We saw you heading back with the shovel, Miss Katherine.
- Linda Miller, is that you? - I been Linda Walker for the last 13 years.
- One. - Linda, you were such a good student.
You must have married him for his money.
- Well, it's all gone now. - Two.
It's dried up with the lake.
Hasn't rained here since the day they killed Sam.
You better tell him what he wants. He's a desperate man.
Go on, kill me.
The lake goes on for miles.
I ain't gonna kill you.
But by the time I'm finished with you, you gonna wish you was dead.
I've been wishing I was dead for a long time.
You, your children and your children's children
will dig forthe next 100 years
and you will never find it.
Look out!
Come here, sweetheart.
Start digging, Trout.
Ready?
- You see right there? - That's it?
- Is this the hole? - Yeah. This is it.
- Are you sure? - Yeah. Positive.
- lt'll take too long. I gotta go find a shovel. - All right. Be careful, though.
- She's gonna make you pay for it. - Now you're accusing me?
- You think I did this to my own truck? - You left the keys inside of a truck...
This is a juvenile work camp with juvenile delinquents...
- Don't get me heated. - A truck with a tank full of gas?
- I said get me a wrench. - Fine. I'll get your wrench.
- Get me a wrench. Read my lips. - I'm gettin' it, you sideburned Neanderthal.
I ain't here to be a mechanic.
Don't you throw nothing at me.
- You really been working. - Yeah.
Coming down.
How's it going?
I could be digging up diamonds and not see 'em.
I don't think Kissin' Kate Barlow would have buried her treasure this deep.
Come on. Gotta make it wider.
How do we know one of her gang didn't already dig it up?
We don't.
You hear that?
What's this?
We found it.
- This is it. - What did I say!
Thank you, boys. You've been a big help.
Jeez.
- Get back. - My God.
Get in there. Pull it out.
You get in there.
I'll just wait.
It won't take long.
No, it won't take long.
My good...
Yeah, check it out.
Here we go.
Hey, Stanley, guess what? You're innocent.
Your lawyer came by yesterday to get you. Too bad you weren't there.
Don't listen to 'em, Stanley.
At least now we'll have a body to give her.
What about Zero?
Zero was never here. We got lots of holes to choose from.
You know how long I've been waiting for this?
My granddaddy owned the whole lake. Then it dried up.
He drove himself crazy out here digging holes. He made me dig too.
Even on Christmas.
All right. Today's the day.
- I'm tired ofthis, Grandpa. - That's too damn bad.
You keep digging.
Well, excuse me.
You'll thank me one day.
- Maybe we should just shoot them. - The lizards or the kids?
You don't want to shoot into there. They'll start leaping all over the place.
I just want to know why they haven't been bitten yet.
Crap.
For Pete's sake, that can't be her already.
It ain't the Girl Scouts selling cookies.
Keep holding the boys in the mess hall. Tell them not to talk to anyone,
and they won't have to dig any more holes.
But ifthey talk, they'll be severely punished.
What shall I tell 'em we're gonna do to 'em ifthey do talk?
Use your imagination.
Go on.
I just don't get it. Nothing makes sense any more around here.
- Stanley. - What?
Is your last name your first name spelled backwards?
Yeah.
We wanted to call, but the phone lines go down out here sometimes.
- You could've tried harder. - We did. We called several times.
Don't go no further. There's danger.
- Where's Stanley? - He broke into my cabin an hour ago.
I woke up and saw him running out with my trunk. I don't know what they were thinking.
I witnessed it myself, counsellor. Don't go too close.
My God!
Don't move. How long have they been down there?
- Have you tried to get them out? - Just what do you suggest?
This wouldn't have happened if you had released him yesterday.
Excuse me. This wouldn't have happened if he wasn't a thief.
What? A thief?
That's right.
- That's a lie. - Stanley didn't steal anything.
Thank God you're OK.
What are you doing? It's Stanley's. Let go.
You've been caught red-handed. I could send Stanley right back to prison.
However, I think I'll just take back...
- It has his name on it. - What?
- No, it doesn't. - Let go!
My God.
You see? "Stan-ley Yel-nats."
He can't read.
That's not possible.
Stanley, I'm taking you home. Let's go.
Come on, Zero. We're getting outta here.
What did you do?
- Get your hands back. - I have to look inside.
This is mine. It was on my property and you are a thief.
- It has nothing to do with your camp. - It was my grandaddy's...
Stanley, come on. Put your things in the trunk. Your parents are waiting. Let's go.
I can't leave without Hector.
I'll be OK.
Stanley, there is nothing that I can do for your friend.
Don't worry. We'll take good care of Hector.
I'm not leaving here without him.
Earl, would you please get me Hector's file?
Certainly, Carla. Ms Walker?
Well?
Get me the file of Hector Zeroni.
Just do it.
- They're alive! - What are you gonna say? Think.
- Caveman! - What's up, Zero!
I can't believe you guys made it.
- We thought you were buzzard food. - Well, I'm not. I'm going home.
Man, you stink. What you been eating?
You smell like onions.
There seems to be no file of Hector Zeroni.
- Is that so? - What kind of a camp you running here?
A nice one. If the state would gave us some money, we'd have some decent filing.
I am ordering an investigation of this facility.
- Lady, you got a pen and paper? - No, I don't. But he does.
- You got a pen? - Yeah. Here.
- Here's a pencil. - You got paper?
Here.
- Here you go. - Thanks.
- Call my mom. - What?
Tell her I said I was sorry.
Tell her Theodore said he was sorry.
I will, man. I definitely will.
- Marion Sevillo. - Crap.
It's been a long time since El Paso.
You're violating parole carrying this weapon.
I had no knowledge of that.
Yeah. Just like you didn't know Pendanski was no doctor neither.
Sit down, Marion. You're under arrest again.
I didn't know that was a man's name.
It ain't.
- This facility is now under our jurisdiction. - What?
Put these bozos there. Let them see the other side ofthe criminal justice system.
Don't push me. I'm a lady.
Come on, Hector. You're coming with us. Let's go.
What's that?
Hector. Stanley.
Come on.
You be careful out there in the real world. Everyone's not as friendly as us.
- Hold up for me. - I'm gonna miss you, man.
- Guys, be good. Keep your head up. - We'll miss you!
Stanley, won't you just open it? Just let me see what's inside it. Please.
Excuse me?
- D-tent. - See you again.
You have the right to remain silent.
Ifyou give up that right, anything you say, will be used against you in a court of law.
You have the right to be represented by an attorney. Ifyou cannot afford one...
One more thing. No matter what is in this box, we are still family.
We are the Yelnats. We know.
- One... - Cross your fingers.
- Two... - Come on.
- Three. - My God, honey, you are so strong.
My goodness.
- Let me see that. - Sure.
OK, guys, hold on. Before we do anything, I think that it's only fair
that half ofwhatever's in this box goes to my best friend, Hector Zeroni.
- You want to go halfsies? Well? - Did you say Zeroni?
Sure did.
My God, is that really worth $25,000?
- Check the date. - AT&T.
- Stanley Yelnats, there's the name. - 1905.
- What's it worth, honey? - It's worth a lot more now. Millions.
- Millions? - Millions.
One for us. One for Mr Zeroni.
Boys?
You did good, bro.
- This way, ma'am. - Thank you.
So Hector was able to hire his own team of private investigators.
Turns out his mom had been looking for him too.
I love you.
And that's how the great-great-grandson of Elya Yelnats
and the great-great-great-grandson of Madame Zeroni
became next-door neighbours.
Camp Green Lake was closed and the boys were released for time served
and sent to real counsellors.
They say Camp Green Lake will be reopened soon as a girls camp.
They won't have to worry about lizards, so long as the girls eat lots of onions.
Come on, everybody. Out of the pool. It's showtime.
Come on, boys. Hurry. It's on.
Come on!
To my fans I'm known as Sweetfeet. But to my wife I was known as...
Stinky Feet. None of his teammates wanted to sit next to him in the dugout.
But that's all over, thanks to Sploosh. I just spray it on each foot every day.
And now he really does have sweet feet.
Sploosh! Now available in a collectable decanter. A product of KB lndustries.
Plus, I like the tingle.
I guess you'll have to fill in the rest of the holes yourself.
But ifyou forget to come back for Madame Zeroni,
you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.